I’m off schedule; but I’ve been thinking about backs, bones, health, aging, limping, hope, joy, God, justice, mercy — in other words I have been reading the Psalms. I want to deepen my prayer practice this year, and selfishly too — not just to connect with God but to allow myself to slow down, listen, heal, be. “Time outs” from the busyness of everything.
And thus Psalm 6 a few days ago, for some reason keeps echoing: “O Lord, do not rebuke me in your anger, or discipline me in your wrath. Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am languishing; O Lord heal me, for my bones are shaking with terror.” And as this psalm goes on the poet describes despair and desolation that I am delighted/relieved/blessed to say I have not experienced. My prayer at once is for those who perhaps — right now — are in this state (“…weary with moaning; every night I flood my bed with tears; I drench my couch with my weeping. My eyes waste away because of grief….”). Go God, be with them them, wipe away the tears, provide the healing, may your strength to endure be known to them.
Bone-deep terror would be horrible, would be a living death. Let our bones be strong. Let our bones heal and carry us and dance and leap for joy.